


A Change of Pace

by sunflower1343



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Epistolary, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-07 17:01:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower1343/pseuds/sunflower1343
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akihito gets annoyed by an Asami who doesn't seem to want to move on in their relationship and leaves him and Japan. Circumstances bring them back into contact in a way that gives them time to get to know one another in a different way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Same Old Thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts), [Ashida](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashida/gifts), [existinnon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/existinnon/gifts).



> This started out as a small oneshot that reflected my frustration at people who said Asami would never change from who he was in the first chapter. What a dull story that would be! So I wrote this showing even Takaba wouldn't put up with that. XD But it made everyone sad, and so I told them I would write the most romancy (is that a word?) story ever putting the two back together. It might, at least in the final chapter, make your teeth hurt. The first part is the original, now a prologue.
> 
> Written July 2006, and being re-posted for some friends who need it right now.
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~

"What do you want me to say?" He played with the ashtray sitting under his fingertips. "We've been through this time and again. It's not even interesting anymore. It stopped being fun long before that."

Asami stared across the desk at him. There were signs of wrinkles around those eyes now, stress lines that hadn't been there before Hong Kong, and had just been getting more pronounced with the years.

Akihito shoved the glass dish across the desk. "I don't have time for this. I need to get on with my life. There's no place for you in it. Accept it."

"I'll never accept that Akihito. If anything is pointless, it's your resistance. You should know that by now."

"Resistance? Since when have I put up a fight? It's ennui. You've become monotonous. Hell, maybe you always were a one-trick pony. Maybe you're like they say, a two-dimensional character with nothing on the inside. A hollow chocolate Easter bunny."

He stood up, the leather of the office chair creaking a little. "I think maybe you should find some fresh meat, Ryuichi. Some 18 year old you can impress with the theatrics."

He relented a litte. Maybe that was too harsh. "Listen, not everything was bad. I mean, I did love you for a time. But when affection isn't returned, how can it be expected to last?"

The man behind the desk spoke coldly. "It was returned. Why the hell would I have gone though so much trouble saving your ass time and again if I didn't care?"

"Because you saw me as property. You still do. You've told me this time and again. I think that's what you're feeling now. Anger and annoyance that the dog has slipped the leash." He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to dispel the headache that was growing. "Can you honestly say that the spark is still there for you?"

"Yes."

"Even though I'm bored to tears?"

"I'll take your tears any way I can get them."

He sighed. "I'm sorry then, because I have no more to shed for you. I'm leaving Japan the day after tomorrow. My father has been talking to an American publishing firm about a father-son collaboration between the two of us. I like the idea of that. He and I haven't had a chance to spend that kind of time together. So I'll be going to New York to iron out the details, then hopefully on to Brazil to begin shooting with him. I won't be back for at least eighteen months, if then."

He walked to the window and gestured at the city. "There's so much more to life than Tokyo. You know that. You've been out there. You must understand." He didn't think Asami did though.

The glass was cold at his back as he turned and leaned against it. "Ryuichi. It's best for us both. You're in a rut too. Look at yourself, still dressing and acting the same way you were when we first met six years ago. It's time for a change."

There was a hint of anger in the answer, more emotion than he usually got. "Don't presume to lecture me. You think you know everything, don't you? You always have. And yet you lecture me about never changing? Someday in the future, when you look back on this moment, you'll realize what a fool you were." 

Asami turned to his computer and began opening software and files. "Go. Run off to the Amazon or wherever it is that you think you'll find answers. Go and look for your excitement. Someday you'll come crawling back when you realize where it truly was, but don't expect to find me welcoming you." He clicked stubbornly at a program that refused to open.

"I'm sorry. I wish it didn't have to be this way."

Silence fell as the clicking of the mouse paused. "Unless you're in the mood for one of my boring displays of dominance, I suggest you remove your ass from my office."

He took a step toward the stiff back, raising his hand to touch it, but then he thought better of it and let his arm fall to his side. Everything he'd wanted to say had been said. He walked back to the chair and picked up his satchel, then strode to the door. But instead of flinging it open, he paused and rested his forehead against the wood. "I did love you. I really did." 

He felt tears fill his eyes, and took a deep breath to keep them from spilling over. But then he thought, perhaps as a last gift, and he let them flow. He turned his head and saw Asami watching him.

He smiled through the pain. "It's all I have left to give you." Then he grasped the doorknob and tugged it open, fleeing before he could change his mind, trying to concentrate on the future, but for some reason not able to think of anything but the past.

 

\--

 

Asami sat motionless at his desk, not quite believing what had just happened. He shook his head, clearing it.

_He'll be back. He'll realize it soon enough. And if he doesn't come on his own, I'll drag him back kicking and screaming._

He reached for his cigarettes, cursing when he remembered that he'd stopped smoking two years before.

_And he says I haven't changed._

He flipped open his organizer and checked his schedule. He just had time to go to his tailor and get a few new suits.


	2. Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once I wrote it, the angsty drabble Same Old Thing pretty much demanded to be continued. There were too many possible interesting things that could happen, and I'm too romantic to leave things that way. So this is a sequel of a few short chapters in which I repair all the evil I did. If you liked the angst, skip it. If you're among all those who cried, here's my makeup kiss *chu*:
> 
> ~~~~~~~

The scratches were itching furiously. Sweat was running down his back, stinging every place that the bark had scraped when he'd climbed the tree. He'd just had to get some close-ups. At least he'd been smart enough not to try it from the ground. 

He watched the pride of lions lazing about a little below and off to the left. He tried not to wiggle too much. The last thing he wanted was to draw attention to himself. So far they hadn't noticed him, and he'd gotten some great photos. He couldn't wait to get back to camp to develop them.

Fathers and Sons: A Photographic Exploration. He and his father had been working on it for eight months now, traveling across continents, taking pictures of men and beasts, of the modern and the ancient, whatever they thought best expressed the concept. They wanted a wealth of ideas and photos to draw from for this book. Most wouldn't make it in, but he knew there were some that were gold and already expressing his heart on the subject. He was hoping to find some similar pictures among his father's choices. They had never been close, but this trip seemed to be bringing them to a better understanding of one another. 

He shifted slightly on his perch. It wasn't that uncomfortable, as far as branches went. He snorted softly. _A little too much time up in trees lately, Aki?_ This would be a three star branch. Nice view but needs a breeze and a shower. He peered down, watching a lioness drag something that was until recently living toward the group. _Needs room service too._ But he wouldn't be getting down from here until they came to pick him up, and that was a good two hours away.

He wondered how his father was doing on the south side of the park. Surely a herd of elephants would be easy to find. They're not so small that you could easily misplace them. If anyone could get the shots, his dad could. He had such a single minded devotion to his purpose. In all his life, short though it was, Akihito had never seen anyone come close to the dedication to his work that his father had. A familiar pair of eyes flashed through his thoughts. Except one other.

A mild sadness put a damper on his good mood. He was tempted to grab his sat-phone and call home, but now wasn't exactly a good time. He couldn't believe he was worried about the guy, but he hadn't expected to be left completely alone like this. There had to be something wrong for that to have happened.

Although, maybe Asami had been bored with him too. Maybe he'd moved on to other things.

Nah, he couldn't see the stubborn bastard breaking his habits that easily. He'd remained unchanged for six years. Why would he change now? But there had been no word. 

At first he'd jumped every time the phone rang, causing concerned glances and then questions from his father. _Those_ were awkward, and in the end he'd refused to explain himself, causing an uncomfortable silence between them for a little while. That had passed though. His father wasn't inclined to be chatty and soon dropped all questions.

But Akihito remained uneasy. As the months passed and he still hadn't heard anything from the man it started to genuinely worry him. It didn't mean he wanted to _be_ with Asami. He couldn't help it if he still cared a little.

He kept tabs on Tokyo through his internet connection when it was available. And of course, he was always talking to Kou and Takato. He had just spoken to them two weeks ago. He grinned. How many guys IM'd their friends from a tent in the Sahara via satellite? Kou had really believed that he was partying in a sultan's harem, the idiot. Takato had been pretty quiet that night. He knew of Akihito's interest in Asami and had promised to watch for news concerning him, yet he had reported nothing.

He sighed and wiped his forearm across his face. _Doing it again, eh? Worrying when he doesn't give a damn about you._

Bored. That's what he'd told Asami. And he had been, with some of it. But it was more than that. It went deeper, to a hurt come from years of his love being met with coldness. He'd been tired of never knowing his worth, beyond that of a pet who was useful for warming a bed. _What the hell is so wrong with expressing yourself?_ Yet Asami kept that damned mask up year after year.

And yet there were times he found himself still yearning for him. Three nights ago, sitting out under the Tanzanian stars because he couldn't sleep, taking himself in his hand to gain some release, the only fantasy he could imagine was Asami. But not as he was. Asami as he could be. Domineering but with love in his eyes.

After he'd wiped his hands clean, he'd crawled back into his tent and cried himself to sleep because he knew by now it was a futile dream. That was the only thing that kept him from calling Asami just to talk. That, and pride.

Still, would little phone call really hurt? Just to make sure he hadn't been killed? That would be too obvious though. If Asami was fine, he'd be too damned self-satisfied if Akihito called him. He needed a better excuse. But what could he possibly say? 

He banged his head back against the bark of the tree in frustration then swore loudly when it hurt more than he'd expected. He swore again when several of the lions looked his way and got up to see what the commotion was. _Fuck! They can't climb trees, right?_

He grabbed his satellite phone and called camp.

"Uh, guys? Do lions consider skinny Japanese men to be something of a delicacy? Because they seem to be looking at me like I was a plate of chicken wings."

He was packing his gear away with one hand.

"What do you mean, what did I do? I made a little noise. It was a mistake. Now I need a little help. How soon can you get here?"

He slung the knapsack over his shoulder and stood on the branch. Glancing up, he saw that the branches above were easily reachable.

"I'm climbing higher up this tree. They don't climb right? Right?"

The answer sent him scrambling.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me these lions climbed trees?! Godammit, that's the kind of thing you should be bringing up in our planning meetings. You know 'Takaba, your plan is good only if you want to be eaten.' Shit, I can't climb one-handed. I'm hanging up. Get your asses back here now!"

He disconnected and stuck the phone back in his pack then climbed swiftly, as high as he could go. He hoped that with his light weight he could get higher than the heavier lions could and that they'd give up the chase. They probably weighed at least twice what he did. The tree shuddered as one of the lionesses jumped into the lowest branches.

His arms ached from the strain of jerking himself up as quickly as possible. The branches were getting very slim now, and starting to bend a bit. He was going to have to stop soon or risk crashing down among all the lions on the ground. He was over 50 feet up as it was. The tree was shaking even worse here near the very top as the animal below sought a path up the tree.

It was getting harder to see in the dusk as he peered down, but it didn't look like she was making headway. There was one gap in the branches that seemed like it was too far for her to jump, but Akihito's nimble body and adrenalin had let him make the jump easily. She paced back and forth on a limb below the gap, occasionally looking up and growling, but it didn't look like she planned on doing anything else for now.

Akihito sat gingerly on one of the thin tree limbs, then tied his knapsack to a nearby branch and got more comfortable. It looked like he'd be stuck there for a while.

God damned Asami. It was all this fault as usual. He at least should hear that before Akihito was killed.

He pulled the phone out of the bag, switched it on, and acquired the satellite signal. Then he punched in a familiar number and waited.

"This is Asami."

"You son of a bitch. Even halfway around the world you manage to put my ass into danger."

Funny how technology could make him feel the cold in Asami's voice from thousands of miles away as if he stood next to him. "Akihito. How pleasant to hear from you. Are you on a satellite phone? All the way from Tanzania. I'm flattered."

He shivered. Of course he'd been watched. He should have known. "Yeah. A satellite phone. From the top of a tree. About to get eaten. And it's all your fault!"

"Like the UFOs, hmm?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Though I wouldn't be surprised if there were an alien attack and it was your fault too!"

"Are you drunk?"

"No, I'm not drunk! I'm stuck at the top of a tree at Lake Manyara waiting for a lion to climb the rest of the way up here and eat me and I wouldn't be if it weren't for you!"

"And it's my fault how?"

He hadn't really wanted to get into the _why_ of it. "Because I... Because you... It just is."

"I see. Lions can climb trees?"

"Apparently they can. Evidently only the ones at this particular park like to, but it slipped the minds of my guides when I told them my plans. Would you like to speak to the lion when she gets here? I have the feeling the two of you have a lot in common."

"Well, we both certainly would enjoy eating you."

"Oh shut up."

"Akihito, I don't suppose you brought a gun along."

"Of course not! I don't want to hurt them."

"I have the feeling your opinion about that will be changing rapidly in a few minutes. What _do_ you have with you?"

"Water. My photographic equipment. A towel. You should never leave home without a towel."

"I'll remember that. Wipe her jaws clean after she takes a bite out of you. Now, what will you give me I wonder, to save your ass?"

"You're bargaining? Right now. With my life on the line."

"Yes, did you expect me to give information away? Do you remember to whom you're speaking?"

He sighed. "What do you want?"

"Hmm. How about emails, daily. I'm bored and I wish to be entertained. A travelogue, with pictures if they're available."

"Why the hell would you want that? Besides, I don't have time to write you every day! Once a week."

The tree shook heavily and Akihito looked down in fear. Dammit, the lioness had made the leap over her head to the branch that would give her access to the upper part of the tree. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

Asami took up the bargaining. "Three times."

He didn't want to, but his options were gone. "Twice."

"Done. Now get out your camera."

"What? I don't have time to be snapping –"

"Turn your flash on, and make sure it's set to full."

Akihito froze. Would something so simple work? He stuck the phone in his pack, picked the camera up, and quickly adjusted the setup and pointed it down the tree. He took the time to focus. His adrenalin made his hands shake. These could be great shots. If he could get them and scare her off at the same time... 

He pressed his finger and the flash went off. 

The lioness snarled and drew back. But she only stopped for a moment. He started taking pictures rapidly, watching her. She knew there was nothing to fear from the light. But he saw the signs that he was looking for, the slipping feet, the slight loss of balance. 

She gathered her muscles for the next leap and came off the branch towards him. He shot again, watching through the viewfinder, hoping to every god in the book that Asami knew what he was talking about. She flew toward him, claws outstretched and sailed right under his branch, missing it by a good two feet, crashing through the weak surrounding tree limbs that couldn't hold her weight. He had seen her eyes as she leapt. The flash had blinded her, and she missed the prey she had thought was within reach. He heard the thud far below as she hit the hard earth.

Akihito, trembling slightly now that the danger had passed, gently set his camera in his lap and leaned against the tree for support. He took a few deep breaths and picked the phone up again. "She... she missed me. She was coming straight at me but she missed me and fell. I'll be damned. You're a real MacGyver, aren't you?"

He heard a long sigh, as if a held breath had been released, then a nonchalant voice. "Oh, did it work?"

"Did it –???" he sputtered. The stress and adrenalin and the completely unbelievable nature of the situation took their toll. He started laughing helplessly. "You still haven't changed, have you?"

"Haven't I? Well, you would know."

Headlights appeared in the distance. The truck was barreling across the plains toward his tree, honking its loud horn. The lions were milling about, uncertain, but it looked like they were going to leave.

"My ride is here. I have to go." He paused. "Listen, Asami... Thank you."

"Just remember to keep your end of the deal."

"You don't have to tell me that! I won't forget. Bastard. Goodbye!"

He snapped the phone off and shoved it into his pack. What the hell had he gotten himself into this time? Well, a deal was a deal. Asami had saved his life after all. And it's not like he could do anything to him via email except maybe irritate him. And he could be irritating back. 

He smiled grimly and got ready to give his employees the lecture of a lifetime.

 

\--

 

A world away, Asami set the phone back on his nightstand and slid down between the soft sheets of his bed. He lay there on his back, hands locked behind his head, and stared at the plain white ceiling. 

That had been unexpected. Of course it was. It was one of the traits he most appreciated in Akihito, one of the reasons he'd chosen him above all others to be his lover. He'd never been bored with him. It had stung to hear the reverse wasn't true. That he'd become _predictable_. He'd thrown lovers away for that very thing, and Akihito had done the same to him. As much as it had angered him, he couldn't blame him, really.

But now he'd been given an opening. Or rather, he'd made one for himself. And this time, he mused, Akihito might be in for a surprise of his own.

His sleep that night was easier than it had been in months. Eight months.

 

~tbc~


	3. Part 2

_Dear As...shole,_

He backspaced.

_Dear Person Who Made My Life a Living Hell,_

Delete delete delete.

_Dear Sexy Bastard,_

No, that would only give him a swelled head.

He stared at the blank page. What the hell was he supposed to write to the guy?

_Dear Person who Stopped to Bargain when my Life was in Danger Thank You Very Much:_

That one had a certain ring to it. He left it.

_Here's your email. I have no idea what you want to hear about. The weather is nice, wish you were here. Not._

_The weather sucks. What do you expect from the North African desert? It's incredibly hot, and to make things worse, these Berbers think it's obscene for men to show any part of their bodies, so we're swathed in dark robes. And people think Japanese baths are hot. I'd give anything to be naked in a cool swimming pool._

He stared at that last. He didn't want to give anyone any ideas.

_DON'T GET ANY IDEAS FROM THAT!!!_

 

\---

 

The walls seemed to lean forward in disbelief. Their owner was sitting back at his desk and softly laughing, a sound rarely heard in their confines. The aforesaid man bent again toward his computer screen and continued reading.

_The people here are nice. Actually, they've been pretty nice wherever we've gone. Unlike certain clubs in Tokyo. Most people are a little shy or distrustful at first, and these are no exception. But when we explain what we're doing, they all want to be a part of it. They're so poor Ryuichi. It's painful to see people living on so little. And yet they're so willing to share it, and they're so happy. I've seen it time and again._

_It makes me wonder, sometimes, about where happiness comes from. Doesn't it seem like some people carry it around inside them? What do you think they know that we don't? I mean, look at you. You have everything you've ever wanted to achieve, right? But I've never seen a genuine smile on your face. Lots of smirks, sure. But never a sign that you were happy._

_I keep taking pictures, thinking that the secret might be revealed someday. If it is, I'll let you in on it. For all your assholiness, you have saved me several times, and if I could repay it with anything, happiness would be my choice. Maybe then at least you'd understand why I wanted it for us so badly._

_Damn, that's getting mushy. Ah well, I'll leave it in. Maybe it will give you something to think about._

_OK, enough about that. I ask myself, what would Asami Ryuichi like to hear about the Berbers? They have no money so they can't buy his guns and drugs. But they might be a source of loyal thugs if he gave them some money. The government here is totally corrupt. I'm betting you know people in it already, and so don't need any other contacts in this country._

_Speaking of contacts, who are you talking to about me anyway btw? How did you know where I was? That's annoying. Don't you have any concept of privacy? You'd better not be bugging my friends. Are you?_

_I've attached some pictures from my Adventure with the Lion. I thought you might like to see the sharp pointy teeth you helped save me from. And yes, she was really that close._

_Thank you, Ryuichi. Really. You know, what I said a few months ago, when we last saw one another... Sometimes its good too when things don't change. I may not like *why* you have saved me in the past. And sometimes I didn't like *how* you did it. And I sure didn't like that you had to in the first place. But I'm always grateful you took the time to do it. You've always been someone I could count on. And that's one thing I hope never changes about you._

_Aw crap, why does letter writing make me sappy? And with you of all people. I must be getting tired of having no one to talk to. Dad's been pretty busy lately, and there's only one other person around who knows Japanese. So don't think it's anything personal! You're just coming in handy._

_That's all for now. I'm hungry. I hope they aren't serving boiled goat again. Nothing sucks more than that, except those damned candies you hand out at Sion._

_Some travelogue. Well I suppose if you don't like it I'll hear about it._

_I'll send another in a few days._

_Not yours, truly,_

_Akihito_

_\--_

_Dear Akihito,_

_Thank you so much for your very intriguing description of North African life. All I can say is that you won't be getting airtime on the Travel Channel anytime soon._

_In response to your oh so polite inquiries:_

_1\. Happiness comes from getting what you want. Ergo, I am happy. One doesn't have to smile like a drunken loon on New Year's Eve to prove it. Those people you are with who are happy, they just have what they want. They probably don't care about the same things we do. That's why you don't understand them, and you don't understand me. If you want to be happy, Akihito, figure out what it is that you want._

_2\. Yes, I have contacts in that government. If you need any assistance, you can have it. Did you hear the "for a price" following that statement? I'm sure you did. You're so very intuitive._

_3\. I couldn't care less about your friends. I simply follow your money. That tells me exactly what I need to know. May I ask why you were purchasing so much vaseline three weeks ago? I understand wanting some for recreational purposes, but a gallon of it seems excessive. Do remember not to use that with the latex style dildos._

_4\. You're welcome._

_I can't wait to see what you have planned for the next installment. Really, I mean that._

_Your only reader, and that's likely to remain unchanged for years to come,  
Asami_

_\--_

_Dear Asami,_

_Bite me._

_Sincerely,_

_Akihito_

_\--_

_Dear Akihito,_

_Any time. Make sure you have a towel handy for when I do._

_Asami_

 

\--

 

Akihito sat alone on his cot in the light of a Coleman lantern and laughed. He shut down his laptop and put it away. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe he could get to know Asami as a friend, something he hadn't been allowed before. That might be something he'd enjoy. Maybe that was what he wanted. 

As he lay back on his cot and switched off the light, he thought about what Asami had written. Eight months ago he would have said he knew what he wanted. When he walked away, he thought it was toward that. He had been happy on this trip with his father. It was a chance he'd always dreamed of, traveling, visiting all these places, and using his skills to capture all of it in his pictures. But he'd been lonely, in a way that his father and his friends couldn't help.

He didn't want to get back into it with Asami. The pain wasn't fresh any more, but he still remembered it. He wasn't going to fall into that trap again. 

But it felt so good to be talking to him.

He rolled onto his side with a sigh and hugged his pillow.

Asami was right. He had to figure out what he wanted.


	4. Part 3

_Dear Person who is Not Exactly the Delight of my Life,_

_Sorry this is a little late. It took a couple more days than we expected to get to Cairo. Sometimes this traveling gets tiring, you know? It would be nice just to stay put for a few weeks. I'm feeling the need to photograph the fathers and sons on the beaches of the Côte d'Azur, if you know what I mean._

_You never go on vacation, do you? Don't you ever just want to get away? I get the feeling you're like those rats in that psychology experiment though. You know, the ones who got so used to the adrenaline of a fast paced life they couldn't live without it? That reminds me of you. And not just because of the rat part._

_So anyway we're in Egypt. Have you ever been here, Asami? It's so beautiful! Just like out of the movies. We saw the pyramids today, and we'll be going down to Abu Simbel and Luxor starting tomorrow. This is so amazing. We have some old stuff in Japan, but nothing like this. It's strange, you know, to see things that men made thousands of years before Japan was really any kind of country at all. Did you ever find yourself standing somewhere and feel a connection with the past? Like you could feel all the people who had stood there before? It's weird when you realize that they were a lot like you and me._

_Dad told me a poem while we were looking at some of the monuments. It was written by an English guy, but he translated it for me. It was about a king who was really powerful in his day and age, and how all that was left of him was one broken statue in the desert. He spent his life chasing power, and he left nothing behind that anyone remembers him for now._

_I don't know if I should say this, but it reminded me of you. All that fighting to be at the top... Is it really worth it when the day after you die it all starts to crumble, and one hundred years from now no one remembers anything about it? Maybe you should just take some time to relax and enjoy things before it's too late. I mean, it's something you have to decide for yourself, and you've probably thought about it before, but I figured a friend would say something._

_Anyway... I've enclosed photos of the pyramids. The guy in the third one is my Dad. I'll tell you about him sometime. He's a good guy, but not great at being a father. That's OK. I'm kind of old for that. It's nice just to get to know him._

_I also included some pictures of the locals. You may find some people you know among them because a few of them look like criminals._

_I'm getting kind of tired, and we have to get up before dawn tomorrow to catch our flight. I'll write as soon as I can._

_Think about what I said, OK?_

_Akihito_

_\--_

_Dear Akihito,_

_Ozymandius, by Shelley, is the poem you're referring to. It's very famous. I learned it in high school. It's supposed to teach us to disparage temporal power. It didn't work with me. Of course power is worthless after death. But power is everything before that._

_I've found that those who vilify power are those without it who really want more of it. This Shelley, a Romantic poet, had very little of it. Will his poem last any longer than Ozymandius' monument? Maybe, maybe not. Someday though, it too will be forgotten._

_Do you think that mattered to him, while he was writing it? I doubt it. It was probably something he needed to do, regardless of the consequences, as my actions are for me. I really couldn't care what people say about what I do, one, one hundred, or one million years in the future. People can speak of me or not. I'll do what I'm driven to._

_Just because something is fleeting, Akihito, is no reason not to enjoy it while you can. Quite the opposite, I'd say. I'm very much a believer of seizing the moment. Surely you've realized that. I enjoy pleasure and see no reason not to take it when the opportunity offers itself, because the chance probably won't come again._

_What I want, on my deathbed, is to never once have thought "Oh I should have...". A minute after death, it won't matter. But before, I'll keep reaching for everything I want. And I'll get it. Because I have power._

_I'm not sure you'll understand this. I know that power is something you look down upon, probably because you don't realize how much power of your own you have. And yet you do nothing with it except run away. Maybe that's powerful in and of itself._

_And maybe that, Akihito, is something_ you _should think about._

_Yours, etc,_

_Asami_

_\--_

_Dear Asami,_

_I'm leaving in a few minutes but checked my email and saw your reply._

_I just wanted to tell you, I'll think about it._

_Akihito_

_PS – You didn't answer the rest of my questions. This letter writing stuff works when people answer each other's questions. Didn't that business degree teach you anything?_

_PPS – You really surprised me with this... I'll write you when I get back._

 

\--

 

Akihito printed the email out to take with him, then read it time and again between the photo shoots at the ancient monuments. It was creased and dirty from having been carried so far in his pockets. 

Sitting on a cliff in the Valley of the Kings in the warm morning sun, he again pulled the paper out. He thought it an appropriate place to be considering his ex-lover's words. After all, Asami carried himself like royalty. He read through it again, his brow creasing.

Was he throwing away chances? He'd jumped at the one to work with his father. But really, had that just been a convenient reason to run away, as Asami said? He thought of what he did more as walking away. He'd not been frightened, just fed up and ready to move on. This trip made the perfect excuse though.

He wasn't sure what would have happened if his father hadn't called him with the offer.

But as for power... What kind of power did Asami think he had? He had none. He commanded no one, had little money. He had control over his own life. But that couldn't have been what Asami was implying. Damn the man, for once they were almost communicating and he had to be cryptic.

"Akihito!" A small figure was waving at him from the floor of the valley. "They're ready to take us into the tomb!"

He folded the paper back up and stuck it into his jeans, then shrugged his shoulders. He'd think about it more tonight, when he had time. He was spending too much time considering Asami these days when his mind should be on other things. Knapsack in hand, he headed down to join his father as they descended into the tombs of kings.

 

\--

 

_Dear Akihito,_

_I'm glad to hear you're considering my words. I'll mark the event on my calendar._

_Thank you for bringing to my attention the fact that I failed to answer several of your questions in my last response. You really should teach a course in correspondence etiquette. Your understanding of it is unlike any I've ever encountered._

_I do hope you won't deduct points if I don't answer these in the order asked._

_Have I been to Egypt?_

_Yes, I have, several times. I drove out to the Pyramids one morning while I was in Cairo, just to see what the fuss was about. I'll admit I had thoughts not unlike yours. Old things tend to do that to people. But the tombs were impressive. I contemplated arranging to have Sion bronzed and made into my tomb after my death, but upon reflection decided that was far too tacky, which is really the most unforgivable sin of all._

_Have I felt a connection with the past?_

_Oh of course. Without doubt I'm the reincarnation of that fellow Job from the Bible. God didn't punish me enough in that life, so he brought me back and gave me you._

_Seriously Akihito, I'm Japanese, just like you. I was brought up to revere tradition and family, just like you. It didn't really stick for the most part, but that's another story. But I'm a firm believer in learning from the mistakes of those who have gone before. Men haven't changed all that much since the dawn of our species, except to lose some hair and gain some height._

_Do I get tired of traveling?_

_Who doesn't? At least my accommodations will always be first class, and not the kind of hovels you're probably staying in._

_Don't I ever want to take a vacation?_

_Why would I want to sit around and do nothing? Oh, should I be reading between the lines? Would you like me to sweep you away to a week of bliss along the French seacoast? I could be persuaded... what's that pesky phrase? Ah, "for a price". Figure out what it is, and you'll have your weeks in paradise._

_Am I a rat in a maze?_

_You're referring to the Calhoun experiment? The results of that are hardly surprising to anyone who has lived in a city. We are, when it comes down to it, just animals. And I've found, recently, that there are pieces of cheese that even I will press the lever for. What do you think those might be, Akihito?_

_Do I know any of the criminal types in your pictures?_

_What I find interesting is that you gravitate towards such people. You seem to feel at home with them. Not unlike certain rats. What does that say about you?_

_I believe those are all your questions. Now you have several of your own to answer._

_Your father is very attractive. How old is he? Ask him if he'd like to have dinner with me sometime. We could share stories about you. And other things._

_Sincerely, and I really do mean that,_

_Asami_

 

\--

 

Asami hit send, then relaxed back against the soft leather of his couch and stared at the laptop screen.

_How long will it take, Akihito, for you to open your eyes?_

 

~tbc~


	5. Part 4

_Dear Asami,_

_Last email first:_

_Ha. Ha. Ha. If anyone is Job, it's me. You're close enough to Satan that I've checked you for a tail and horns many times. And you just thought I liked staring at your ass._

_Hmm, so you're on the outs with your family? You never talked about them. Are any still alive? Are they yakuza too? What was your life like growing up? You don't seem traditional at all. I mean, your apartment is all western. You never use honorifics with anyone. I'd almost think you hadn't been born in Japan and grew up as a foreigner._

_No, I don't want you to take me on vacation! I don't even want to think about what the price for that would be. And leave my father out of it! And no I don't like criminals, you're all just good news stories! That takes care of all of_ your _questions._

_OK, first email last:_

_You know, that email has been on my mind a lot. I thought about it all the time I was down south. Some of it made sense, like being happy while you can and not wanting to miss chances, and how your power helps you get that. You made some good points. Being in all those tombs surrounded by death brought that home._

_But I don't get the part about power and me._

_What did you mean I have power? You're probably laughing your ass off because you're driving me crazy with riddles, but just lay off and tell me. Because I don't see it. Sure, I have power over my own life, but I don't think that's what you mean, is it? I mean, everyone has that power. It's when you start to have it over other people that your power stock goes up._

_Wait a minute..._

_You think I have power over people? Are you nuts? Who? I guess I have limited power over the people I've hired. Maybe a little bit over my friends. Not much at all over my father. Who else is there?_

_I don't get you. Give me a break here. This is driving me crazy._

_And as for "running away" as you put it, I didn't. I walked out. I wasn't scared of anything, except maybe being stuck with you in that same situation for the rest of my life, and with things as they were that would have been terrible._

_There was one thing you said in your last email..._

>>And I've found, recently, that there are pieces of cheese that even I will press the lever for. What do you think those might be, Akihito?

_I don’t know what that might be, Asami. Don't you ever get tired of playing games? I'm just not sure what to make of that. I hope you don't mean what comes to mind. I'm sorry to have to bring this up again, but you and me, well... unless things change a lot, it can never happen again. You've realized that, haven't you? I don't want to go through that a second time. I'm more than willing to be friends. In fact I'd love to be, but I won't go back to the way it was. I'm sorry._

_I'd better end here. I'll tell you about Luxor some other time._

_I just think we should be honest with each other._

_Akihito_

_\--_

_Dear Akihito,_

_So, you want to be friends. Fuck you Akihito. That's not good enough for me._

_What makes you think I want you back, if you're going to act just like you did before?_

_You walked out, but did you ever stop to think that maybe I was dissatisfied too? That maybe I was tired of all the mind games you played with yourself and me, to convince yourself it was okay to stay in the first place? That I only played along to keep you from running the way you always did?_

_You arrogant little prick, assuming it's all up to me, that I'm the only problem. Assuming I'll watch from the sidelines and be a supportive_ friend _while you look for someone else to fill that hole at your side._

_Gods I'd love to fly out to Cairo and lock you up in some seraglio and chain you to a wall, until you learned that you were meant for me and only me, that you were made for my pleasure. I'd fuck you into the tiles until your whole world was my cock, until the only words you knew were Asami and Please._

_But that would be predictable._

_I won't be predictable ever again._

_And it wouldn't be enough. This time I want it all, Akihito._

_You'll wear chains, but they'll be chains you put on yourself. Emotional ties that you'll never break. I'm no fool. I know I'll wear them too. I'm already feeling their weight. But it will be worth it, seeing you bound to my side for the rest of your life. Knowing that you will never, ever, tear a piece out of me the way you did last September when you walked out of my office. Not out of my life, never that. But just out of easy reach._

_You're mine Akihito. We'll be friends, don't worry about that. But baby, that will be the least of what we are to each other._

_Love,_

_Asami_

 

He sat, staring at what he had written. His hands were no longer shaking. The fury had subsided. He was under control. 

His finger moved the pointer so it hovered over the X in the upper right corner of the window. He clicked.

`This message has not been sent. Do you want to send, save or delete the message?`

He hesitated, then clicked again. 

`Delete`

The message vanished from the screen.

He rubbed his temples. Maybe he should wait a day or two. He'd known this would come up. He just hadn't expected it to break his control this way.

What would be the best way to handle it? To agree to just be friends? That would be a lie, and he would never lie to Akihito. To refuse? That would chase Akihito away, make him less open, maybe even stop him from replying.

To ignore it? No, he'd ignored things for 6 years in his arrogance and look what it got him. And now, there was so much more at stake.

He took a deep breath, then began typing again.

 

\--

 

_Dear Akihito,_

_How can you be honest with me when you can't be honest with yourself? The truth is often uncomfortable. I've been finding that out too. But only a coward turns from it. You've never struck me as a coward. I'd like to speak honestly with you someday about these things, but it seems to me that you're not ready to face some hard truths yet. But on that day I'll come to you naked, if you do the same._

_I look forward to hearing about your visits to the southern monuments._

_Yours,_

_Asami_

_\--_

_Dear Asami,_

_I feel like I don't know you anymore. Maybe I never did. I feel like I don't know myself very well either._

_I need to think about things for a little while. I'll be back in a few weeks._

_Take care of yourself._

_Akihito_

 

\--

 

That was the last Asami heard from him for some time.

 

 

~tbc~


	6. Part 5

Asami's cell chimed as he strode down the hallway toward his office. He began to walk faster.

Kirishima glanced over, surprised, the light glinting on his glasses. "I haven't heard that ringtone in a while. Are you two talking again?"

"I'm sorry. I must have forgotten when I ever implied that my personal relationships were any of your business."

"Don't give me that crap. How long have we known each other? Yes, I serve you, but your well-being is important to the organization and to me. And he directly affects your well-being. Are you back together with him?" 

"We were never apart. He just hasn't realized that yet."

Kirishima snorted. "You never change, do you?"

Asami turned his head slightly. "On the contrary, my friend. I'm scarcely recognizing myself these days."

Kirishima shot him a look of concern. "Is that good or bad?"

"It's good, I think, but I can't say for certain yet. I'm not even at the endgame. It's fast approaching, however."

"Hmm. Speaking as a friend, Asami-san, if you need anything, let me know."

Asami paused at the door to his office, his face inscrutable. He bowed slightly. "Thank you, Kirishima-san." And with that, he stepped into his office and closed the door, leaving his man in the hallway with his mouth hanging open.

He walked to his desk and sat, smirking the whole time. "Didn't expect _that_ , did you? This is fun."

His smile slipped a bit as he waited for his laptop, which was taking far too long to boot up. 

What would be the results of Akihito's latest hiatus? What conclusions were that mind of his drawing? 

His fingers tapped impatiently on the desk.

Akihito and his father were in Turkey now, in Istanbul. From the looks of it they might be there for some time. They'd rented a house in one of the more bohemian districts for the next month. 

Asami had kept track of them via credit cards as usual. And Akihito knew it. Every so often he'd buy something guaranteed to raise Asami's eyebrows. And every so often one of the items would end up in Asami's mail at Sion. He glanced at the stuffed goat's head sitting prominently on display on one of his shelves. That one tended to strike fear into the hearts of those who saw it so he kept it there. The others he just took home. Even if they were crappy gifts sent with a hint of malice, they were still gifts, and they always made him laugh.

His finger tapping was on the verge of drilling holes into his desktop.

_Damn Windows. It takes forever to open. I need to get into that market and create an operating system that will work._

He finally got to his desktop, and not even pausing to admire the Glock on his wallpaper as usual, opened his mail.

 

\--

 

_Dear Asami,_

_Did you ever really like me?_

_Akihito_

_\--_

_What the hell. That's all you have to show for your weeks away?_

He clicked Reply.

 

\--

 

_Dear Akihito,_

_Do you mean "like" or "like like"? I'll have someone pass you a note next class period._

_Asami_

 

\--

 

The reply came back almost immediately.

 

\--

 

_You said you'd be honest. Answer the question._

_> Dear Akihito,_  
>  
>Do you mean "like" or "like like"? I'll have someone pass you a note next class period.  
>  
>Asami 

_\--_

_Dear Akihito,_

_Please trim your emails. I can't stand that._

_I said I'd be honest if you were. You show me you're being honest with yourself, and you can have all the answers you want. But it looks to me like you're just whining and blaming me for everything, same as usual._

_I'll tell you what. We'll play a game. You seem to like them. I know I do. You may ask me any one question you like and I will answer it completely openly, after you answer one such question of mine. We will continue, as long as we feel the other is being completely honest. Do you have the guts to play?_

_Yours,_

_Asami_

_PS – No questions about my business via email. I don't want to put anything in writing. I'll be happy to answer any business-related questions that you have, but only in person. Though if you think we're going to discuss business when we finally see each other again, you're in for a surprise._

 

He paused, then erased that last line and sent it off.

 

\--

 

_Oh, like you're free of blame in this mess! It sounds to me like you need to practice some honesty too._

_Fine. I'll play your game. I don't think_ you _can do it. Though I don't see why you get to go first. But whatever. I'm not afraid of being honest. And I won't ask you about stuff that will get you thrown in jail, so you have no excuses._

_So, what's your question? Bring it on._

_Akihito_

_\--_

_Dear Akihito,_

_My first question is a simple one, but its answer may not be easy. Are you gay?_

_Yours,_

_Asami_

 

\--

 

It was several days before he received an answer.

 

\--

 

_Dear Asami,_

_You don't pull any punches, do you?_

_You knew how hard that would be for me to answer, didn't you?_

_And you've suspected that it's been an issue for me, haven't you?_

_And yet you demand that I answer this honestly, as your price._

_You're a real bastard sometimes for requiring so much of me. Then again, I think you're the only one who expects I can accomplish such things. Because you believe I can, I always try harder and achieve things I might not have otherwise. So thank you._

_Yes, I'm gay._

_I can't believe I typed that. Staring at it in print makes it even more real. You were right, I'd never admitted that to myself, let alone anyone else. When I saw your question, I still didn't want to admit it. I ran and I danced around the subject like you wouldn't believe._

_I've avoided the issue from day one, but you know, you kind of made it easy for me to do that. In the beginning you used rape and drugs to train my responses, so for a long time I couldn't tell what was me and what was forced on me. Because of that, I pretended it was just you. That I would only respond that way to you, like a dog to its master._

_Then Feilong came along and I responded the same way. You probably don't like hearing that, do you? But he turned me on. Gods, he was so sexy. If he hadn't been such a bastard I would have dived in and enjoyed every minute. Though I probably would have rationalized it away, pretending it was just a way of getting on his good side so I could make an escape attempt. But that was my first clue that it wasn't you, it was me, and it made me uncomfortable. I was happy to get back to you, partly because I could pretend to understand why I acted like I did._

_And when we got together, when I fell in love with you, I rationalized all that too. In my mind, the love didn't have anything to do with being gay - I just loved Asami, not men. The sex, it was the same way. I loved Asami so I wanted sex with him. It had nothing to do with you being a man, or so I told myself. But underneath, it was making me uneasy._

_At the same time, other things were adding to it. Kou, Takato, others of my friends, they were pushing women on me, asking why I didn't date, wondering who this Asami was and what he was to me. I never had the courage to be honest with them because some of them were openly homophobic. In the face of that, I didn't have the courage to be honest with myself either. I'm sorry. It caused problems, I know it did._

_The sad thing is, I think now most of my friends would have accepted it. If they were my friends, they should have. I know two of them would. I'm supposed to meet Kou and Takato online tonight. I plan to tell them. I hope they understand. I think they will. But I wouldn't mind if you wished me luck._

_I haven't told Dad yet either. I have no idea how he'll respond. He's pretty laid back though, kind of a hippie about some things so I don't think he'll care. I mean, he seems amused that guys keep coming on to me._

_They have been too, this whole time I've been away, and even before. It made me angry to be honest. I felt like there was a sign I didn't want hanging over my head saying, "Gay man for the taking!", when of course I wasn't gay at all (that's sarcasm). It made me mad at you, because I felt like you were the one who painted the sign and hung it there when really, you were just the first person to notice it. I'm sorry for that too, for blaming you when you were blameless for once._

_Then you come along and have to bluntly ask such a thing. Because you wanted me to face it. I don't think I would have ever admitted it if you hadn't been sitting at the other end of this connection, challenging me to me honest with myself. So I sat in my tent last night with some beers and faced it. I took it all apart and looked at it, honestly for the first time, and when I put it all back together, I knew._

_I'm gay. I always have been. In a way, it's a great relief to say it. I wish I would have understood that sooner._

_I'm wondering how many of our problems stemmed from that. And because you asked that question, I'm thinking that you believe at least some of them did. You're probably right. I was never quite comfortable with myself the whole time we were together. It often got expressed in a stubbornness and anger that you didn't deserve. I'm sorry. Just add it to the growing list of things I'm sorry about._

_I don’t have a question for you right now. I'm still getting used to seeing myself this way. It's a little like feeling reborn. I'll write later in the week when things have settled down a bit. Once I've had a chance to rethink all I've been rethinking, in this new light._

_Thank you, Ryuichi, for giving me the courage to be honest with myself._

_Sincerely,_

_Akihito_

 

\--

 

At his desk in his office in Tokyo, a man rested his head on his hands, unused to the flood of emotion rushing through him. Finally. Finally, they could move forward. 

He'd counted on Akihito being strong enough to handle it. Akihito hadn't let him down. He was quality. He always had been. 

Now it was his turn to do the same. He knew what Akihito would ask.

 

\--

 

_Dear Akihito,_

_Most men flinch from the truth and are never willing to face it. I am proud of you beyond words that you rose above all of them. Honesty demands honesty in return. Ask what you will._

_Yours, truly,_

_Asami_

 

 

~tbc~


	7. Part 6

_Dear Asami,_

_Well, I've started telling people about my gayness, and so far it looks like I was afraid for nothing._

_I talked to Takato and Kou like I said I was going to in my last email. Takato said he'd always figured that was the case, but he thought it was up to me to tell him so he never said anything. He also said he had yelled at a couple of our friends, telling them to cut the homophobic comments, so that now they think he's gay, heh. When he got married they were probably really confused. But he let them think what they wanted about him to protect me._

_I have good friends I don't deserve sometimes._

_Kou was, well, Kou. I won't even start telling you where that conversation went, but he ranges from being childlike to shockingly blunt within the same breath, so you can just imagine. But overall his reaction was like "Really? Huh. Have you tried that new flavor of chips?"_

_They both want to meet you, Takato because he's interested in the guy I went out with for so long, Kou because he wants a pass into Club Sion. Please don't encourage him. But I wanted to let you know they might come by the club sometime._

_I told my father too. It went something like this:_

_We were sitting after dinner, having a drink or two (he holds liquor as well as I do), and I blurted out "Guess what Dad? I'm gay!"_

_He squints at me and says, "Is that supposed to be a surprise?"_

_I say, "Well, yeah, it kinda was for me, to finally admit it."_

_He takes a swig. "Huh. You always were a little slow on the uptake. Got a boyfriend?"_

_I say, "No, but I did before I came on this trip. I broke up with him." I showed him your picture. (Don't get a swelled head about me having one. I keep it around for target practice.)_

_He says, "You really are an idiot. He's hot enough that I'd try gay for him. You think he'd be interested? I've got the same genes as you. Probably more experience in bed. Though not with guys. I don't think."_

_"You don't think??"_

_"Some nights are kind of fuzzy."_

_So my dad wants to go out with you too. At least when he's drunk. That's all I need. You for a stepfather. Or would you be my stepmom? (Dad wants to be seme.)_

_They're the only ones I've talked to so far, but it feels so good. I'd been hiding a big part of myself from people I cared about for so long, and now I can just be myself with them. It's amazing. I feel light from having the burden removed, like I'm floating a meter off the ground. I know I'll come down a bit when I hit the first negative reaction, but knowing there are people who support me, it won't be as scary._

_Um, anyway, before our last set of emails, I took some time off from writing you. I did a lot of thinking, most of which is now useless, because I wasn't thinking straight. No pun intended. But I went back to thinking about the same stuff the last few days, trying to see it from a new point of view._

_What I've been thinking about is you, and about us, and about what you've been writing._

_You must think I am blind._

_I wasn't completely blind. Just in denial. But once I stopped blaming you for what I am, and now that I'm more comfortable about it, I started seeing some things a little more clearly. Especially in the emails you've sent me._

_You've changed. A lot._

_You never used to talk to me about anything serious. Maybe because I would have been angry and disinterested since it would have put me closer to seeing the truth about myself. But maybe too because you didn't want to put that much of yourself out there._

_You never used to be playful with me. Some of your emails have been downright funny. Maybe you didn't tease me before, because I couldn't take the jokes. Maybe too, you didn't tease me because that implied a certain intimacy you didn't want to admit to._

_And while you were always honest with me, you were never open with me. I wasn't open out of fear. I'm assuming you were the same way. Or maybe you just didn't see the need. But it's obvious to me, in your push for this communication between us, that you see the need now._

_Something has changed in you, Ryuichi. Something I like very much. Something that gives me hope I wouldn't have even thought I wanted before this week. I hesitate to ask what it is, because I'm afraid that the answer might not be what I want to hear. But since you went out of your way to praise my courage (in your last email, which made me cry), I'll ask anyway._

_Ryuichi, I come before you naked._

_What happened to you after I left?_

_Yours,_

_Akihito_

_\--_

_Dear Akihito,_

_That's not exactly the question I expected. But it's close enough. That's one thing about you I'll always treasure, the fact that you surprise me. I hope this email does the same for you._

_This is, I think, the hardest thing I've ever had to do, except perhaps for the initial self-discovery that led to this. But having challenged you to be completely honest with me and yourself, I can do no less now that it's my turn._

_Your leaving devastated me._

_I didn't admit it at first. My first reaction was to fall back on habit, to pretend you didn't matter. I tried to continue on with my life the way it had been before I met you. What a futile gesture that was. Not only didn't it work, but one morning when I was staring at myself in the mirror, putting on the usual suit and tie, I realized how very true your words had been. I'd turned into a caricature of myself. I was doing things by rote. All my gestures were those of an automaton, like clockwork._

_The pain of that moment will never leave me, because in the space of a few heartbeats I realized I'd lost myself, and you. And I had no one to blame but myself._

_You would have been shocked to see me the next few days. I canceled all of my appointments at work, leaving Kirishima in charge. Then I got very, very drunk. That's something I never do because I don't like to lose control, but I hurt, and I just wanted to erase the pain for a little while._

_After my binge I woke up feeling terrible, as you can imagine, and I didn't remember anything past the first few drinks. I found that in my drunken haze I'd completely trashed my apartment. I'd thrown all my suits off the balcony, tossed all my safe and tasteful artwork into the trash, and destroyed my stylishly boring apartment. There was little left of anything._

_You said you felt reborn, after admitting you were gay. I felt much the same way, standing amidst the ruins of my old life. Everything would have to be bought anew. I could move in any direction I liked. I felt freed of expectations, my own being the worst of them._

_As I picked up all the debris, and yes, I could have had a cleaning service do it, but I was actually rather embarrassed. As I picked up, I came across that picture of the two of us. You remember it? It's the only one we had. The one someone took at Sion that night where we were in the booth, you leaning against me, my arm around your shoulder. You were laughing at something, I could never remember what. Do you remember that? I've wanted to know what made you laugh that night for a long time._

_I stared at that picture, trying to understand the turmoil inside me. I ached with a need to see you. But not just to see you under any circumstances. I wanted to see you laughing, like that, because you were happy to be with me._

_I sat a long time, trying to remember if you'd ever been happy for that reason. I couldn't think of a time when that had been true._

_I knew I hadn't been the most considerate of companions, but when our relationship began playing through my head, I was... This is very hard for me to write. I was shamed. I had considered you to be my mate, but the wildest of beasts would have treated its mate far better than I treated you._

_I sat, long into the night, seeing all I'd done wrong. All my missteps. I never talked to you. I never treated you tenderly. I never let you know that you were more than a bed warmer for me. I never cared about your needs, outside of the sexual ones. I never gave you the respect you deserved._

_I never told you that I loved you._

_And I do love you._

_Though, to be fair, I didn't know I loved you until after you left. It's not something I had experience feeling. But when you can't breathe because someone isn't at your side, when you reach for his warmth at night, when your ears search for his laugh, when you think every brown head of hair might be his only to feel another pit open up underneath you when it's not true.... Well then, even someone like me understands that it must be love._

_When dawn broke over me the next morning, because I was still sitting there with that picture, I had found the direction I wanted to move in. I wouldn't just start my life anew, I would get you back so that we could have another chance, one that I would make sure worked this time. I would do what I had to, to show you what you really meant to me._

_I spent a lot of time those days analyzing our relationship. People tend to forget I'm a financial analyst, and a very good one. I think the gun distracts them. But I put all my skills to use figuring out just where the problems were. Many were as I listed above. But another kept intruding._

_You were never comfortable with me, for reasons other than the way I treated you. I realized, eventually, that it centered around your sexuality. That was something, believe it or not, that caught me by surprise. You know I've never given a damn about what people thought about mine. I fucked whomever I wanted and the hell with them. For the record, a) that doesn't included animals or people who dress like them, and b) it does include both women and men. It's always been that way, so for me, my sexuality was never an issue. But I saw that for you, yours was a major one._

_I found that very frustrating, because to me that fact that you are gay, or perhaps bi, was perfect. I wanted to make you see that. I knew I had to make you see that or we would never succeed._

_So I came up with a plan. First, change the obvious things in my life. Then find a way to approach you such that your sexuality wasn't threatened. Then talk to you and let us get to know each other again, so that you might start to see that I'd made some changes. Next, try to get you to see yourself in a better light. Convince you to give love another shot, this time for real, with someone who loved you back. And then of course, seduce you and fuck you into the mattress._

_Ah, I couldn't resist._

_Seriously Akihito, do you have any idea what it's been like going without sex for nine months? I hope you do, to be honest. And I hope we can break the fast together._

_But this time... This time I want to try lovemaking. I want us to be intimate on all levels, not just the physical one. You have no idea how much I need to be joined to you that way. I need you to_ see _me when we're together, and I need to hear you calling out my name, freely admitting you want me, all of me._

_I'm jumping ahead of myself a little bit here though, aren't I?_

_Let me finish the story. You know most of the rest._

_I started by making changes to myself. The external ones were easy, just a matter of buying new clothes and furnishings, getting a new apartment. The internal ones took some doing. To be honest, I'm still working on those. It's been very difficult to change my natural inclination, which is of course to be a very closed person. I intend to remain that way with almost everyone else I know, or I think I'd go insane. The organization doesn't need a leader who's in touch with his feelings. I must remain ruthless there or I will become ineffective. But I swear to you Akihito, that with you, I will remain open and caring. Even if it kills me._

_So how did I go about changing? I suppose you'll find this amusing, but I researched in books and I made lists. Problems, Solutions. They may need some tweaking in practice, but I think I have a good grasp on what needs to be done. I've been practicing on unsuspecting employees. Their shock has been amusing._

_Anyway, to continue the story. I got your phone call from atop that tree in Tanzania one late night after I'd returned home from work. As soon as you called, I saw the way open for us to communicate safely so that you wouldn't run as long as I didn't push it. I apologize for bargaining with your life. You know I wouldn't have let you die. If you'd held out, I would have told you to use the damned flash. But I played it cool because you had to agree._

_After that, I tried dropping hints to you. I wanted you to start thinking about our relationship. I wanted you to suspect something had changed. I wanted you to enjoy talking to me and get to know me a bit more, even as I was getting to know you better. I think that worked. And I really enjoyed exchanging thoughts with you that way. Your comment early on, about me being happy... I wanted to tell you that I was happy every time I heard from you. But I didn't. I didn't think you would believe me._

_I grew frustrated with our talks quickly though. You thought quite a bit, but you didn't seem to be thinking about what I wanted you to most. So after your last 'vacation' from me I was determined to force the issue, hoping that I was right about the steel in your spine._

_I was right. You're all I ever expected, all I'll ever need. I've always prided myself in only wanting the best. I continue that tradition in my choice of lover._

_The best thing you ever did for me, and for us, was to leave. We would never have been happy going through the motions as we were. You had the guts and foresight to see that and demand change. I wish it hadn't had to be so painful for either of us, but growth usually is._

_And I believe that only leaves me with one thing to say, and I say it bowing deeply. Akihito, I'm sorry. I don't say it to try to ease old pains. That would be useless. But I say it so you know that I'm serious in my intentions toward you, and that I truly regret what went before._

_So here we are, naked before one other. You're beautiful, Akihito, shining with the light of your spirit and heart, and I love you._

_I know you might have trouble believing this is real, but you took a far greater chance on a far lesser me several years ago. I promise you, this time when you fall in love, I'll be at your side all the way down. Take my hand, Akihito. Let's step off the edge of the cliff together._

_Love,_

_Ryuichi_

_\--_

_Dear Ryuichi,_

_There's so much I want to say, and yet I think all I really need to say is this:_

_Istanbul is lovely this time of year._

_Yours,_

_Akihito_

_PS – I've attached a photograph of the inside of the home where we are staying. As you can see, I decided to take for my rooms the former women's quarters. It's very private and spacious, since I am alone there, and as you may notice by my dress, or lack thereof, quite comfortably warm._

 

\--

 

Asami laughed as he wiped his eyes, then pulled out his cell phone.

"Kirishima. Get me on the next flight to Istanbul."

 

 

~tbc~


	8. Part 7 (End) plus omake

Geometric patterns of moonlight fell through the carved wooden screen at the window and onto the back of his sleeping lover. He'd been awake long enough, watching, to see them visibly move up Akihito. Soon his head would be crowned in the pale light of the reflected sun.

The young man moved a little, restless, and murmured something into the chest he lay upon. "...ichi..". Asami felt a wave of fierce happiness, and tightened his arms about the slim body.

The day had been everything and more than he'd imagined.

He'd arrived in Istanbul early in the afternoon...

 

~~

 

No one was there to meet him, for the simple reason that he hadn't called ahead. He intended to surprise Akihito by getting there so quickly.

The sun was pleasantly warm on his skin as he left the airport, suitcase in hand, to catch a taxi. Istanbul was a place of moderate temperatures and it was like a nice spring day in Tokyo. 

He didn't have the slightest idea how to speak Turkish, so his conversation with the taxi driver by necessity attracted five or six more of them until someone at least understood the address Asami had written down. He hoped they did at any rate. He didn't want to end up spending the night on a goat farm in the middle of nowhere. But after a series of mis-turns and a number of close calls with other vehicles he was eventually dropped off at a house that he recognized from the surveillance pictures he'd received. He breathed a sigh of relief after paying the driver and climbing from the death machine. He needed to start smoking again. If he was going to die it may as well be from something he enjoyed.

The door was answered by a 50-something man that Asami immediately recognized. The man, not surprisingly, recognized him too, judging from the raised eyebrow. 

"Dad!" Asami clapped a hand familiarly on the older man's shoulder, enjoying the startled response.

"Son...?" Takaba senior stepped aside and waved Asami into the foyer.

"I've come to ask for Akihito's hand in marriage. Do I have your permission?"

Takaba scratched his head. "I was kind of hoping to go out with you myself. Do you really want the kid? He's a handful."

Asami smirked. "A sweet handful. I know it doesn't make sense, but he's the only one for me. You came in second though. If he runs away again we'll talk. But we'd have to get that seme / uke thing straight."

Dad nodded. "I get the feeling you've shied away from your natural position as a bottom. I'd love to teach you the ropes. Literally."

"In your dreams, old man."

"Watch it. I've not given you my permission yet."

"That was just a formality. I'm taking him no matter what you say. It would just make him happier if he has your blessing. So I expect him to get it."

"Do you? You're a pushy son of a bitch. I'm starting to see why Akihito left you."

"Really? You know, I was so fascinated by this conversation when it started but I fear the novelty is wearing off. Why don't you take yourself off to your darkroom with a vat of vaseline and figure out what it would feel like to be my bi –"

"Dad, what's the commotion? I thought I heard you speaking Japanese."

And there he was. 

His eyes went wide and a smile broke over his face. The smile Asami had been longing to see, one just for him.

Asami took a step forward, only to be met by Akihito hurling himself across the space between them.

And then his arms were full of what he'd longed for for months. This boy, this man who meant everything to him, was squeezing him so tightly, grasping his hair with such force he thought it would tear from his head, laughing and saying his name over and over again. And he was squeezing him back, running his hands over every part within reach, reassuring himself that this was real, that Akihito was here, and wanting him as fiercely as he was wanted.

He finally stilled and buried his nose in the soft brown hair, holding tightly onto what was his. Never again would he lose him. Never again would he fail him. This had to be preserved at all costs. He rubbed his cheek against the trembling head.

He didn't want to move, but there were some matters to take care of. He lifted his head and pulled back slightly, raising Akihito's chin with a finger. Tears were flowing freely from eyes that were shining with happiness. "I take it you don't mind that I came so quickly then?"

Akihito shook his head, biting his lip. His hand came up to rest against Asami's cheek. Asami turned his face into the caress. His body reacted quickly. His heart, his breath quickened, and he hardened. But now wasn't the time.

He pressed a gentle kiss into the palm of Akihito's hand, then stepped back slightly. Surprise flooded Akihito's eyes, then understanding, then appreciation. 

"You forgot something." Akihito stepped forward and rose up on his toes to place a soft kiss against Asami's lips.

The tight control that Asami had placed over himself broke with that, and he jerked Akihito forward, opening his mouth over his, plunging his tongue in to taste what had been denied him so long. He shoved Akihito back against the foyer wall and pressed closer, thrilled to find himself being devoured with the same impatience that he himself was feeling. Their tongues twisted together, licking, tasting, stroking, trying to speak all they were feeling without words. 

A hand on his shoulder abruptly brought him out of his heaven. He turned with a snarl to see Takaba senior standing there, an amused look on his face.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You've already kissed the bride, but feel free to do so again."

And with that he patted Akihito's shoulder, murmured something about his mother approving, and left for some other part of the house. 

Asami stared after him, bemused, his anger forgotten. "He's an odd one, your father. But at least he's entertaining. The holidays should be interesting."

"He's nice, but I think he did a little too much acid when he was younger. Sometimes it seems like he's walking through lands that only exist in his mind. He still talks to Mom sometimes. I'm not sure if he doesn't remember she died, or if that's just not an important detail to him."

"Ah. Well, if he's happy..."

"I think so." Akihito turned back to him. "I didn't expect you. Why didn't you email me? How was your flight? Are you hungry?"

Asami pushed him back against the wall, and lowered his lips to nip at Akihito's neck. "I'm feeling the same hunger that the lioness was. Do you have a towel nearby?"

Akihito laughed and slipped out from between Asami and the wall. He held out his hand. "Come on. Let me show you our room."

Asami felt a rush of pleasure at that. Akihito had never truly been comfortable with their living arrangements, as much as Asami had tried to force it. It was obvious now why that was. "You really have accepted it."

Akihito pulled him along the corridor. "Yes. They can say what they wish. Though in some places we'll have to be careful. Dad sat me down and had a talk with me about the countries in this region and their laws against homosexuality. I had no idea places actually had the death penalty for being gay, and most around here have prison sentences. Though Turkey is forward thinking and doesn't have anything like that."

"They won't dare touch either one of us. It would be the equivalent of declaring war, only against a completely ruthless man with no code of conduct to follow. I would squash them with no compunction and they know it. You have nothing to fear."

"Erm, okay. Thanks, I guess. Please don't start any nuclear wars on my account." Akihito laughed nervously.

Asami's eyebrows shot up. "I'd only use the nukes as a last resort. They might damage you if they were holding you prisoner nearby."

"You actually have... You might... Okay. Are you sure you've changed?"

"Quite. Before this, I wouldn't have worried about your feelings before dropping a bomb."

"Ah, you're teasing. That will take some getting used to."

"I wasn't really teasing, but you can pretend I was if it makes you feel better. How far away is this bedroom of yours anyway?"

Akihito paused before a door they'd passed twice already. "You, um, don't have anything like that in your suitcase?"

"What do you take me for, an idiot? Seriously Akihito, use some common sense. You don't go through an airport with something like that in your carry-on."

"Well you've got something big and blocky in there! I can see it pressing against the sides of the suitcase."

"Oh, that's a present for you." He stepped into the room, tossed the suitcase onto a chair and unzipped it. He lifted a large bag out and gave it to Akihito.

"You brought me a present? Asami... I don't know what to say." Akihito opened the bag and looked in. His eyes narrowed. "What the hell?" He pulled out a gallon of vaseline.

"I got the feeling you really liked it. And it'll come in handy this week."

Akihito just glared at him. "There won't be any use for it at all if you keep this up."

"Ah, and here I thought you could take a joke these days. I should give you your real present then." He handed a much smaller package to Akihito, who took it gingerly.

He opened this one more slowly, peeking into the leather box before opening it fully. He blinked several times. "You can't mean to give me this."

Asami leaned against the wall, arms folded. "Can't I? Why is that?"

"Asami, this cost way too much! And where would I wear it? I mean, it's really beautiful, but..."

Asami walked over to stand behind Akihito, and reached around him to pluck the necklace out of the box. "You would wear it for me." He slid the chain around Akihito's slim neck, smiling at the shiver that went through the younger man's body. Akihito turned around and looked up at him. The large teardrop diamond at the base of his throat flickered in time with his heartbeat. His heart was beating quickly indeed.

Akihito raised his hand to his neck and ran his fingertips along the chain. "This looks okay on a guy?"

Asami looked at him with satisfaction. If he had his way, Akihito would be draped in his jewels. "You were made to wear things like this. And I was made to give them to you. I want to see you clothed only in gemstones and gold."

"Do you?" Akihito danced nimbly backwards out of Asami's reach, his smile becoming a teasing thing. He slipped his t-shirt over his head and tossed it at Asami. "I won't become your model for bling, but I might wear some, on occasions like this."

He pulled at the tie to his drawstring pants, and let them slip past his hips to the floor. "But are you really looking at the jewelry right now?"

He stood before Asami, nude, still pale despite his time near the equator, his desire evident. Asami's eyes drank him in. He was perfect.

Akihito sank to the bed behind him, then lay back and stretched. "Aren't you hot in those clothes? I think you are. I like your new clothes by the way. I love the way the silk feels over your muscles." He wriggled backwards until his whole body was on the mattress, then let his fingers trace along the ridges of his abdomen. 

Asami's erection twitched in time with Akihito's movements. His hands quickly and efficiently stripped away his clothing, and within a matter of seconds he was crawling up the bed until he was crouched over Akihito. He slowly lowered his body until they were chest to chest, groin to groin, mouth to mouth. Once again control shattered as months of frustration for both of them demanded release, and they writhed frantically against one another seeking satisfaction. And when it came all too quickly, they were left feeling a little bereft.

Asami raised his head from the crook of Akihito's neck, slightly guilty. "I'm sorry. That's not how I planned our first time."

Akihito smoothed the damp hair back from Asami's forehead. "We have plenty of time. I know I didn't want to slow down. It felt so good just to touch you like this."

"Ah. I felt like I was discovering sex with a partner again for the first time."

Akihito laughed. Asami's breath caught for a second before he forced out the question he needed to hear an answer to. "Akihito. Does this mean you've accepted me again? You didn't exactly say."

Akihito's eyes shifted to the side, then back to his. "It means I want to."

"But you're not quite sure of me."

"It all felt a little unreal in the end. There were words on the computer saying what I wanted to hear, but I need to spend time with you. Does that make any sense?"

"Yes. You want to inspect the merchandise before closing the deal."

Akihito laughed. "You always have such a way with words."

"I love you, Akihito. That's not going to change. I'll say it many times as it takes." Asami sighed. "And stop that. No more tears."

"You don't understand what it is to want to hear that for the first time, when you've been longing for it forever. And then to have it come true."

"Don't I? I understand part of it." His voice was soft.

Akihito's eyes softened. "I did say it before."

"I know. It made me smug to hear it then." Asami rolled onto his back and draped a forearm over his eyes. "Gods, Akihito, I don't blame you one bit for leaving. I would have punched me on the way out."

"I didn't want to get within reach of you."

"That was wise of you. After what you'd said that day I had no desire to have sex with you. I was so furious. I was actually afraid I'd kill you. So I sat there and let you leave."

"I'd wanted to provoke a reaction, you know? But you just sat there. I read everything wrong. I wonder how many times that happened."

"We were both guilty of that." He rolled onto his side facing Akihito. "But it's in the past now, and doesn't matter except as a lesson to learn from." He ran his fingers lightly over the smooth skin on Akihito's upper arm. "I want to make love to you."

Akihito rolled to face him. 'I want that too, very much."

What happened so quickly before was slowed to a lazy crawl as they explored one another, taking their time, murmuring words of encouragement, sometimes even silliness. Their eyes kept meeting each other's confirming and strengthening what they felt, even as their bodies told the same tale. By the time Asami had pushed inside Akihito, they were both lost together in something greater than themselves.

And before they finished, both had their wishes come true, Akihito being made love to by Asami with love in his eyes, and Asami hearing Akihito call out his name, welcoming him.

\--

Afterwards they showered and dressed, and went walking through a nearby shopping area looking for someplace to dine, but content to just be in one another's company. They stopped here and there at stores, Asami insisting on buying some things for him. After the third such stop, Akihito called for an end to it.

"I don't want you buying me lots of things. I don't mind an occasional present, as long as you're willing to accept them too, but all this buying feels too mercenary. You don't have to do it. You're enough for me."

"Akihito. I have all this money and nothing to do with it except make more. Allow me to spend it on the one person, besides myself of course, that I enjoy indulging."

Akihito grinned. "I can't believe you admitted that. Okay, if you buy something for you for each thing you buy me, it's a deal."

"I'm not sure why you think that will discourage me; I have no problem agreeing to that. Now, I see a shop full of completely worthless junk. It reminds me that I've yet to buy something for your father. Let's see if they have anything worthy of him." He tugged his laughing boy after him.

\--

Later they settled into a corner of a small open air café with a terrace in back overlooking the Bosphorus, examining their purchases one by one on the cast iron table while they waited for their food. A pleasant breeze wafted in between the pillars supporting the awning.

"I still think you should have bought him the lava lamp."

"But that's retro these days Akihito, and considered to be in good taste. It wouldn't do."

"Yes, but I'm almost afraid to think what he'll do with this...thing." Akihito leaned back in his chair and gestured at a misshapen wrapped object in the center of the table.

"I'm sure he'll laugh and share it with your mother." Asami tilted his head back and let cold bottled water pour down his throat.

"Not funny."

"Of course it is. Insanity is a cute affectation in the old."

"He's not insane!"

"I said he was affecting to be. He likes to appear offbeat. It's a common characteristic for those of his generation. They pride themselves on being unique, but really most tend to be unique in the same ways."

"And what, you don't pride yourself on that?" Akihito leaned forward and snatched the bottle of water from Asami's fingers, swallowing the rest of it.

"Not really. I pride myself on being myself. After all, what could be better? You know, if you wanted some water, you could have ordered some."

Akihito stuck his tongue out. "It tastes better if I steal it from you."

Asami watched that tongue, promising himself to fully enjoy it later. "Could it be possible that you finally understand my career choice?"

"What? That's not the same. I'm stealing from someone who can afford it."

"And I'm not? Big business. Governments. Criminals."

"Poor people buying drugs."

"I don't steal from them. I don't, in fact, deal with them at all."

"Supplying their suppliers is close enough."

"They choose their path. We all make choices Akihito. Some are wiser than others. I've made my share of bad choices too. Some led to what happened between us before. But I reflected upon those choices and changed. It has not been easy. But it is worth it. I read some wise words recently that were quite simple, yet so true. 'You are what you do. Choose again, and change.' The future is ahead for all of us Akihito. It's your choice."

"You certainly managed to change the subject smoothly."

"I'm good at that sort of thing. It helps during police interrogations."

Akihito laughed. "OK, I'll bite. Let's talk about the future."

But their food arrived and they were silent, clearing the table for plates of grilled lamb and stuffed eggplant and fragrant pilaf. They worked their way through the food, speaking little, the afternoon's activities having left them both incredibly hungry. They ended dinner in a typical fashion, Asami with a cup of coffee, and Akihito with a sweet honey pastry.

Asami watched with amusement as Akihito scraped even the tiniest pieces of filo from his plate. "If you licked it you'd get even more."

"I bet you say that to all the guys." He glanced to the sides, then his tongue flicked out to quickly lick the plate clean.

Asami laughed, delighted. Akihito's head shot up in surprise, then a smile spread across his face. "I never got to see you this way before."

"I didn't really let myself enjoy things like this. I think what you said in one of your emails was correct. It implies a certain intimacy. I like that now. I didn't before, so I always stayed a step back with that, and with emotions."

Akihito eyes grew curious. "Why? Were you hurt in the past?"

Asami shrugged. "I was brought up that way. But part of it was Feilong." He took a sip of his coffee. "I let myself get emotionally involved there, and it turned into disaster. I vowed never to let myself fail that way again. I believe that's known as cutting off one's nose to spite one's face."

"I'm glad you can see that. I'm glad of a lot of things now." Akihito's cheeks reddened and he turned to look out over the sea. Asami gazed at him silently while finishing his coffee.

\--

Their evening ended quietly. They took a taxi back to the house, intending to present Akihito's father with his gift, only to find a note stuck to the door telling them to enjoy their honeymoon, he'd be back in a few days when the moaning had died down. Akihito, red-faced, ripped the note off the door before storming inside, while Asami grinned and followed him into the house.

They washed the day's grime off in the bath, together. Then changed the sheets and crawled into the clean bed, together. Then they turned off the lights and made love with only the moon to see them, though Asami swore Akihito was glowing with a light from within. 

Akihito fell asleep almost instantly. Asami continued his watch.

 

~~

 

Later, just as Asami was watching the moon crown his lover in pale lights, Akihito stirred and lifted his head.

"Ryuichi? Aren't you sleeping?"

Asami ran his fingers through the mussed brown hair. "I'll sleep when I get back to Tokyo. I don't want to waste any of the time I have with you."

Akihito rubbed his eyes. "Don't be silly. We have all the time in the world. We'll have to travel back and forth for the next few months, but after that things will be calmer. I'll get Dad to agree to put the book together in Tokyo."

Asami stilled. "Are you saying you've decided?"

Akihito yawned and snuggled into the smooth chest, trying to stay awake but not really having luck. "Decided? Mmm."

"About us. About me."

He woke up at that. Asami's eyes were intent on him when he raised his head and looked up. He sighed. He knew he wouldn't be allowed to get back to sleep without providing an answer. But as he looked inside himself, he knew that any lingering doubts had vanished hours ago. He'd experienced more of Asami that day than he had in all their years together.

"I've decided. I want to try again. I think it will really work this time. And it's not just that. Today I felt..." Akihito blushed and looked to the side. "I felt special. I felt like what we had was special. That you were the one. That there was love between us that would only grow stronger. I really did feel the way a bride on her wedding day must."

"Akihito." Asami's hand caressed his cheek.

He turned to look at Asami, the moonlight illuminating their faces. "At any rate, I'll try my best to make it work. You have to promise to as well though."

"Of course I do. I promise. So these are like wedding vows, aren't they? To love and to cherish, till death do us part? I can promise that to you, and I do."

"For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health."

"For poorer? I doubt that's an issue."

"Well the sickness part makes up for it, if mental illness counts."

"Don't talk about yourself that way, Akihito."

"Me?! You have nerve–"

His answer was muffled in the kiss that followed. "Hey, let me t –" Another kiss, then another, and soon he forgot all arguments. 

\--

Later, much later as he was falling asleep, he laid his head on that broad chest where a heart beat so strongly and steadily. "Ryuichi?"

"Hmm?"

"I really love you."

"I love you too, Akihito."

 

As the moon set, she framed the entwined sleeping lovers in a silvery light that for a moment made them look like fairy tale princes, well on their way to their happy ending.

 

 

~end~

 

 

\--  
Omake

 

"How the hell did you use up a gallon of vaseline anyway?"

Akihito began giggling underneath him on the bed. Asami stared down at him . A fine time to be laughing. Yet he couldn't get angry, not seeing Akihito free and happy like this.

"What's so funny? What were you using it for?"

Akihito was looking at him out of the corners of his eyes, laughing outright now, holding his sides. "That must have bugged you for weeks! Did you think I was having orgies in Africa?"

The thought had crossed his mind. "Not at all." Akihito laughed more, knowingly. "Well, maybe one or two orgies. I can't for the life of me figure out why you'd need that much."

Akihito's eyes twinkled. "It was a birthday present."

"A present."

"Yup. For twins."

"What aren't you telling me?"

"That they each weighed about 400 pounds."

"Akihito..." His voice promised retribution if he didn't get the story soon. 

Akihito gave in. 

"We were with the game warden in Botswana when we came across a female hippo trying to give birth. She was having problems, and the warden was determined to help her. They're not endangered but they're also not as plentiful as they should be. I'm not going into what it took to subdue her. We had to use every available piece of equipment and all our ropes and bunjee cords to hold her down. Plus we had to keep her in the water. Gods what a nightmare that was. Well the warden, who was also a vet, had asked us to have our man, who had driven into a nearby village, bring back some things he needed, so I called him. A non-water soluble lubricant was on the list. He brought back the vaseline."

"He had your credit card?"

"I'd given him a traveler's check through the credit card company."

"So what happened with the hippo?"

"She was pregnant, with twins, and they were stuck. We, and I do mean all of us, managed to slick things up and turn them and get them out. They hurt of couple of us. For babies, they were very strong and fast. The mother was worse. The sad thing is, probably only one will live. But at least we saved that one."

"So you used a gallon of lube on baby hippos."

"That pretty much sums it up."

Asami covered his eyes with one hand, massaging his temples. "Akihito, you are truly one of a kind."

"Thank you."

"And now I'm going to show you the right way to use up a gallon of vaseline."

"Hey wait a minute..."

"Let's role play. I'm the warden and you're the hippo."

"Hold on there!"

"Didn't you say you needed lots of ropes? That must have been kinkier than I thought."

"Asami, you pervert!"

 

Some things never change.

 

 

~end~

 

 _* 'You are what you do. Choose again, and change.'_ \- Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan, via Lois McMaster Bujold


End file.
